Anthony Otten
  • About
  • Writing
    • Fiction
    • Nonfiction
  • News
  • Contact

So Many Shepherds (Part 1): 5 Kinds of Preaching That Don't Help a Church

6/21/2014

0 Comments

 
church, church sign, preacher, hell, baptist, baptist church, signs, Mt. Pleasantmaurilioamorin.com
Have any of you ever hunted for a church? I wasn’t raised going to one, so in the summer after high school, I went seeking for a place in the body of Christ. During this salvation safari, I encountered many species of pastor and learned how a leader is often the decisive factor in the life of a church. I won’t reveal the identities of these churches, but I wonder whether any of you met these types in your search for a home.

1)      The Revival Reverend: Becomes a fierce, bristly creature while preaching, who exhorts listeners to keep a passport handy and prepare to be called into a “dark, dark place” where the Gospel has never been heard. Has an appreciable passion for evangelism, but never explores more than one theme: You’re going to hell if you don’t believe in Jesus. If you don’t want to get baptized, you’re probably not saved. Somebody needs to get up here and get baptized. Often seems hostile toward his listeners: “If you want to be a pew sitter, then there’s the door!”

2)    The Political Preacher. Openly declares who he would have chosen to be president, admits he gets his messages from talk radio, and gives a forty-five minute sermon on a controversial moral issue that fails to include any mention of human brokenness or redemption alongside his damning of sin. Partisan allegiance to politicians gives the crawly impression that pastors are no different from CEOs announcing their endorsements.

3)      The Mushy Minister: the pastor of a liberal mainline Protestant church. Very friendly, but not a defender of orthodox Christianity. “Don’t judge,” he says in one sermon. “Jesus said, ‘Don’t judge,’ so don’t make judgments.” Never explains how it is possible to live as a human and not make moral judgments, as Scripture clearly does (see commandments I-X). Appoints Sunday school teachers who are not devoted to faith. One says, “I’m not a big Bible reader myself,” to open his lesson. The other teaches that Christianity and Buddhism (!) are basically the same.

4)      The Self-Help Sexton. A purveyor of acronyms, rhymes, “tips,” and 12-step plans. Embarrassed to say “sin.” Gives sermons that sound like Jesus-flavored infomercials.

5)      The Archbishop of Anecdote. Regales his audience with endless stories about his kids (sometimes with videos of them), pets, grandkids, in-laws, wife, coworkers, youth, college years…Occasionally quotes the Bible, as if conceding that he is technically a pastor and thus obligated to do that once in a while. But after that, back to the slideshow.

Let me know if any of you have met these composite sketches in your church life. The second half of this post will reveal how I met a pastor who was palpably different—and knew his church was the right home.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About

     Anthony Otten has published stories in Jabberwock Review, Valparaiso Fiction Review, Wind, Still: The Journal, and others. He has been a finalist for the Hargrove Editors' Prize in Fiction. He lives in Kentucky.

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Resources for Writers
    Duotrope
    New Pages
    Poets & Writers
    ​
    Query Shark
    ​
    The Review Review
    Recent Posts:

    Why I'm Choosing the Catholic Church

    The Struggle to Stay Real as Writers and Humans

    When People Stopped Being Interesting to Write About

    How to Avoid God, Unsuccessfully

    3 Ways to Use History in Your Fiction

    Who's Afraid of Death?

    Jesus and The "Illegals"

    The Hardest Command

    Grasping the Resurrection

    Radical Fairness

    Story Published

    The King of Outsiders

    When Your Idol Falls

    Our Not-Guilty Verdict

    Nobody Dies for a Lie

    Would You Be The Doorman?

    Judge Not

    Publication News

    What is a Blessing?

    Real Obedience is Love
    ​
    Jesus was Inevitable


    The Death of Envy
    ​

    What God Really Wants

    Submission and Query Resources for Writers

    Hearing His Voice

    The World Overcome

    Honestly, God: Praying Our True Feelings

    When God Gives Us What We Want
     
    Killing Isaac

    Archives

    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    Categories

    All
    Agents
    Bible
    Books
    Christ
    Christianity
    Church
    Classics
    Culture
    Description
    Education
    Envy
    Faith
    Fiction
    First Post
    Genesis
    Genres
    God
    Gospels
    Heaven
    Hell
    History
    Media
    News
    Nonfiction
    Novel
    Novels
    People
    Prayer
    Publications
    Revision
    Salvation
    Series
    Short Short Stories
    Short Stories
    Storytelling
    Thomas More
    Writing Advice
    Writing Advice
    Writing Exercises

Copyright © Anthony Otten
  • About
  • Writing
    • Fiction
    • Nonfiction
  • News
  • Contact